If I Were a Dictator

by G!

If I were a dictator,
I'd force everyone to
Ride bicycles, and run
Subway tracks everywhere
For the lazy citizens.

If I were a dictator,
I'd let the pundits criticize
Me to their content; a
Great leader must always
Transcend dissent.

If I were a dictator,
I'd thumb my nose at
The world economy, my
Country should produce
Only for itself.

If I were a dictator,
I'd build orphanages
For unwanted children to
Go so that abortion wouldn't
Ever be necessary.

If I were a dictator,
I'd give money to the
Artists, until the culture
Of my country is
Revitalized.

If I were a dictator,
I'd castrate all the perverts,
Burn all the terrorists, and
Donate all sociopaths to
Scientific research.

If I were a dictator,
I'd dash the hopes of
All separatist minorities;
Alone, they'd lose the little
Independence they have.

If I were a dictator,
I'd have to seize my country
With tyrants, murder them all,
And be left to govern it with
Humble intellectuals.

If I were a dictator,
I'd eat at home what
I cook for myself; the lavish
Life of pathetic despots
Is not for me.

If I were a dictator,
I'd help my country become
A democracy before I
Retire, I'd hope it wouldn't
End like King Lear.

If I were a dictator,
I'd like to survive a few
Assassination attempts, learn
Martial arts, study music,
Learn another language...

If I were a dictator,
I'd come before God at
The end of my life to
Repent for my sins, and be
Forgiven before I die.

If I were a dictator,
Oh how wonderful
The world shall be.