Failing Out of Time

G!

Sometimes I think
My brain is
Not conditioned to
Think it through
Quickly, which is
Why I run out
Of time writing
Tests. "You have
To realize that
It's your fault",
My teachers tell
Me. They say,
I don't know
How to manage
My time when
I'm answering those
Questions; they kindly
Inform me as
One would tell
A little child
How much they
Do not understand
In the world.

The ironic thing
Is I understand
The lessons, I
Just want to
Learn it on
My own terms
(Which I guess
Is the wrong
Way to learn),
That means writing
Slowly and thinking
As though I
Have all my
Life to complete
This paper in
Front of me.

What do tests
Actually measure? Surely
Not our capacity
For knowledge,
They do not
Care about that;
I personally think
Tests simply test
Our ability to
Write tests, which
They assume represents
Our intelligence and
Capacity to hold
Information, though they
Are more likely
Different things altogether.

I forfeited my
Test paper, a
Whole quarter left
Unfinished. I wonder
What the unanswered
Questions are about,
Because surely I
Knew the answers;
Sadly, the question
Is taken away
Before I could
Answer it. What
Saddens me about
This is not
My inadequacy at
Writing tests according
To their standards,
But the void
Of an unanswered
Question, an incomplete
Solution, an essential
Part of a
Whole, missing from
The canvas of
Knowledge and reasoning.

This black, hollow
Void is in
Me now, because
I did not
Fill it when
It presented itself
For its duration
Of 45 minutes.
I did not
Have the time
To fill it.
I have failed
Out of time.
I have failed.