Towards Ruin?

G!

I see it now.
I'm not going
To school to
Learn anymore.
I'm not going
For the facts and
equations.
I'm not going
For the verbs and
Nouns and artsy
Things either - at
Least I shouldn't be.
Nope, I should be
Going to school
For the grades,
The grades, that's
Right! The grades
Are the most important
Thing in life, more so
Than sleep, more so
Than self-preservation, and much
More so than sanity.
Without grades I have
No future, no worth, no
Nothing. Well, I guess
I'm not doing too well
At that, then. I've been
Wondering why I can't
Bring myself to study
Any of my subjects, and
The matter is simple, I was
Still convinced that I go to
School to learn. Oh silly me
How wrong I was! No I did
Not memorize those laws and
Equations, how to do those
Homework questions step-by-step,
I thought that was pointless! Oh no,
I was wrong. It's not enough to just
Write down what's important in neatly-
Packaged bullet-point notes, so even if
I forget I can simply reteach myself
The whole lessons, no! That's the pointless
Thing! What's important is do, do, do! Do more
Of it; more practice; more homework; more and
More and more until I'm a calculator at it, that's
What's important, because that's what gets me
The grades that are my whole life. Who cares if
I don't understand any of it? Knowledge is not an
end in itself, fool, is a means! It is a means
To an end and that end is grades! Grades, fool!
Get it into that stubborn head, grades is the end!
Forget knowledge, forget wisdom, forget learning
How to learn (unless I'm learning how to learn to
Acquire those grades), forget it all if I want a future,
If I want what I don't know whether I even want,
forget it all. All but grades is expendable.
Get it into that head, fool. Get it.